IF I COULD CHOOSE, I’D BE A LADY AT DOWNTON ABBEY

Watching the royal wedding this weekend made me think about how slow and luxurious life could be if everything was done for you. Ha my kids are Royal for sure!!!! For Sean and I though, parenting, life in Jo’burg in general is such a rush. I try to consciously do things slower to enjoy them,’ savor the precious moments – the look of  Zaza’s cute puffy face as she says: “one more huffy mummy, one more kissy”. The naughty “catch me if you can” look on Ellie’s face before she darts off with a forbidden sweet. The feel of a Teh’s tiny body clinging to mine as she falls asleep and Tali’s flashing smile when she figures out something complex. These are the everyday mundane things that are extraordinary in little people. These are the ordinary memories that make up the rich tapestry of our family life. And I choose to savor them because they disappear as quickly as they come.

But try as I might, I live life on the run. Perhaps it’s the lifestyle we’ve chosen. It’s high impact and fast paced. Sean works hard and arduous hours and so though we see one another we don’t have time to talk about stuff – the stuff that requires attention for us to manage our lives and the lives of 4 other people. It’s not the first time that I’ve had hubby on speaker phone while driving the kids to school to tell him about how one of the bairns broke a frame or about leaking pipes or a school event or or or…..

 

It’s not ideal. I know many people who have opted for a quieter life out in smaller slower places than the city. We haven’t set our sights so far a field yet. Perhaps because this is where family is, our bread and butter is, our friends are, or perhaps we’re city people.

 

If I could choose though, I think I’d like to be a grand lady at Downtown Abbey and have the butler Carlton manage our home affairs. Imagine that! Mrs Patmore, planning our family’s lavish dinner EVERY NIGHT!!!!

 

But as it stands, we’re not gentry. We’re working class – who live a lot better than Mrs Hughes and Carlton I might just add – and that means that I get to be Lady of my own manor, the wife, mother of many, the butler, nanny, driver, housemaid and cook all in one too.

 

In the end it’s a balancing act, and a strange kind of contradiction: – slowly savoring the moments, enjoying being the Lady, without allowing the mad rush of life’s management to swallow it all up.

My Bursting Heart

I didn’t know how much your heart could grow to over flowing with the feeling that you are blessed beyond measure.

First – it’s the birth of this little one – Tey. The first sight of her, her first breath, her cry is like an explosion of emotion. And then you realize that that emotion is love. The fierce sheer strength of it and your tears flow because you don’t know what else to do. You take her in your arms and praise God for what He has given you. You know that someone this precious could only have come from His hand!!!!

And then you see your brood of little ones – all 3 of them: Tal, Ellie and Zaza gather around their sister and scream and laugh and coo in the wonderment of “babeeeeeee” as they clamber to touch her. Your heart grows bigger and bigger. It’s so full. And you say to your husband as you point to each of them “that one is ours and that one is ours and…and….” – four times. And then it’s bursting again- all the emotion flowing in tears.

And then you’re so blessed by the people that swirl around you – the ones who rejoice with you because your new little one is “theirs too”. They rejoice because a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, her birth has brought joy to them. They love her already!!!!! And they love you and you husband and your mighty brood. And you feel so secure, so touched you, so full – it’s overwhelming, that support and love.

Then the blessings, prayers, well wishes and gifts pour in. The meals arrive at your home, the thoughtful helpfulness, all to care for your family. All this while you nest and recover and bond, cloistered – hidden in all the love.

And you think back to your birth and know that only the hand of God could have done all of this. From the awesome medical team to every last gift. And you realize that it’s Him, it’s His grace and love shown through all of this. Then there it goes again, your heart grows full, bursting as you perceive it all.

Baruch HaShem!!!!