MY SPUR REACTION

Watching the videos showing a man threatening a woman in front of her children at the Texamo Spur at The Glen Shopping Centre, left my head spinning. My reaction moved from utter disbelief to a raw rage.

He pulled her child. Let me say that again “HE PULLED HER CHILD!!!!”. And then he raised his hand to the women telling her he will give her a “p ….klap”

And the children?, look at what they witnessed. A stranger swearing at their mother, threatening to slap her, shaking the table. It’s awful, it’s madness.

And yes, the mum swore back, and yes we haven’t seen the debacle from the beginning – but he pulled her child!!’. I’m not sure I would have behaved differently given the setting. She couldn’t gather her children and walk away. She was cornered, literally in a Spur booths to face the aggression.

I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if she had been closer or if her had grabbed that child away from his mum. It shocks, saddens and enrages me at the same time. I want to scream: “is this us, is this our society, is this the violence that men in society perpetrate against women, against defenseless children????”. God help us!!!!!

Well done to Spur who banished the man from ever entering any Spur again. My family has visited Spur many times. It’s a kiddies friendly restaurant and the last thing I want is for my children to be exposed to this wildness.

It’s impossible to sever race from this. We come from a racially divided society. Of course people will ask “had the mother been white, would his behavior been the same?”. We will never know – but those are important questions to ask in the race discourse, as the country deals with its past.

The mother, whom we have come to know as Lebogang Mabuya said she will not press charges. I think that’s generous of her. I’d like to see a man like that stand before a court of law and have judgement passed against his behavior. I would like our courts to pronounce that this behavior is against the law and will not be tolerated. I would like to see individuals and our entire society stand against this scourge.

Watch the event here and here. One was taken by a patron videoing it on his phone. You can hear the dialogue. The other is from the Spur footage of the event taken from the other side of the table. After watching this, I implore you – react!!!! And whatever your reaction is, don’t let it be a passive desensitized one. Indifference will only breed more violence and show our children that violence is the norm and violence is okay.

Please share your thoughts.

 

 

FATIGUE

Fatigue – that pervasive feeling that dominates all aspects of life when you’re the parent of little people.

You’ve forgotten what it’s like to breastfeed 2 to 3 to 4 times a night, changing nappies in between. You covet Sean’s snores. You lay sleeping beauty down, swaddled and satisfied. You begin to drift into oblivion. And just then when you see it within your grasp – the ever prized SLEEP – the alarm goes off. You’re startled – “really!” You stumble out of bed, tripping over the talking train. “Are you still there?” It asks over and over again.

You scramble to get the kids up for school.

You drink your second coffee for the morning and still you can’t shake it off. It grips you and pulls you down – from your eyelids to your bottom, everything going south. Now you’re looking for somewhere to sit so you can hold your head up. You read the ingredients on the container for the umpteenth time this week – and you’re convinced. This is all a ploy to get people like you to buy the stuff. They say it contains caffeine which is a supposed stimulant. Only you’re not stimulated. You’re in a vegetative state – groaning, waiting for the darn thing to work and wake you up!!!!

It doesn’t and you know it’s all a lie – make believe like your daughters fairy tales. Your lips gave that coffee true loves Kiss and everything is still not ok. The adventure has not ended. It continues as Tal spills cereal on her school shirt. Zaza screams “mine” running from Ellie who lunges foreword to grab or slap. Baby cries for her change. Sean walks in on que “we’re leaving in 5!!!”

It’s all a blur. It’s motherhood on the rougher days when family life is not tinted in hues of pink and gold.