IF I COULD CHOOSE, I’D BE A LADY AT DOWNTON ABBEY

Watching the royal wedding this weekend made me think about how slow and luxurious life could be if everything was done for you. Ha my kids are Royal for sure!!!! For Sean and I though, parenting, life in Jo’burg in general is such a rush. I try to consciously do things slower to enjoy them,’ savor the precious moments – the look of  Zaza’s cute puffy face as she says: “one more huffy mummy, one more kissy”. The naughty “catch me if you can” look on Ellie’s face before she darts off with a forbidden sweet. The feel of a Teh’s tiny body clinging to mine as she falls asleep and Tali’s flashing smile when she figures out something complex. These are the everyday mundane things that are extraordinary in little people. These are the ordinary memories that make up the rich tapestry of our family life. And I choose to savor them because they disappear as quickly as they come.

But try as I might, I live life on the run. Perhaps it’s the lifestyle we’ve chosen. It’s high impact and fast paced. Sean works hard and arduous hours and so though we see one another we don’t have time to talk about stuff – the stuff that requires attention for us to manage our lives and the lives of 4 other people. It’s not the first time that I’ve had hubby on speaker phone while driving the kids to school to tell him about how one of the bairns broke a frame or about leaking pipes or a school event or or or…..

 

It’s not ideal. I know many people who have opted for a quieter life out in smaller slower places than the city. We haven’t set our sights so far a field yet. Perhaps because this is where family is, our bread and butter is, our friends are, or perhaps we’re city people.

 

If I could choose though, I think I’d like to be a grand lady at Downtown Abbey and have the butler Carlton manage our home affairs. Imagine that! Mrs Patmore, planning our family’s lavish dinner EVERY NIGHT!!!!

 

But as it stands, we’re not gentry. We’re working class – who live a lot better than Mrs Hughes and Carlton I might just add – and that means that I get to be Lady of my own manor, the wife, mother of many, the butler, nanny, driver, housemaid and cook all in one too.

 

In the end it’s a balancing act, and a strange kind of contradiction: – slowly savoring the moments, enjoying being the Lady, without allowing the mad rush of life’s management to swallow it all up.

THAT PIG GIVES ME COURAGE !

“mother”

Has anyone seen Sing? Rosita the piggy mommy gives me courage. Buried in heaps of work she still manages to pursue her dreams.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be that super duper women or rather that super singing pig. Chasing her dreams while still managing and juggling motherhood.

I’ve been there, pushing a career and raising kids. It isn’t easy. Working moms almost always feel a tinge of jealousy or sadness when they see the “at homes” do something their lifestyles prohibits them from doing. But I get the working moms – the ones who can’t quit work because they need the money and the others because they love what they do. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. Neither of these 2 women are less worthy than the “at homes”, of the title: “MOTHER”. Working a job doesn’t add up to less love.

My mum worked. Yet I never felt like she was not there. On the contrary her devotion was tangible. It still is today.

So though we may not be able to build a clothes drying and dish washing contraption – we can do what our capacity allows us. We don’t have to feel guilty about working when our kids know we love them.

Mumziboo – That’s me!

Mumziboo – that’s me, written by a mum of 4 little girls who is married to an awesome guy. All my tutus are under the age of 8. Tal is 7, Ellie is 4, Zaza is 2 and Tey  is a wee bairn of 4 days old. This is my journal, tribute, moment, downtime, cry time and whatever shape or form this blog may take.

It was before the birth of Tey and shortly after Sean and I decided that I would quit my legal practice and stay home to raise our brood, that it hit me. I realized that this was me. Being an attorney never defined me- it was my profession for a large part of my life, being a dancer was not me – it was something I did and loved. Being a cake baker or pottery maker or whatever I engaged in with great gusto, shaped my identity, sure, but it was not intrinsically me.

Motherhood is different though. At least it is to me. I can’t separate my self from it. It’s not a department in my life, a time when I am scheduled to do it. It’s not me practicing my talents or enhancing my skills. No, its what I’ve evolved into. Everything else that is me is still there. My heart, my personality, my natural abilities, strengths and weaknesses together with my core values are still there. All of it  – only now, its become a mama bear. And it’s amazing and weird at the same time – because “me”, my life, has through motherhood, extended into the lives of 4 others. They are an extension of “me” – and that will never change.

Any mum out there will agree with me – it’s a hair raising roller coaster. And I’ve decided – amidst the exhaustion, messy house, incessant worry, cost of living and school fees – I am going to hold tight and enjoy the ride!!!!!!

Chat soon!!!!